She's Still Our Lieutenant Princess
by Shaylynne
Summary: Welcome to the un-explaination of Thalia Grace's life. Here, you shall delve into the random despairing moments in her mind. Don't worry, it's a daily habit – just don't touch that one fuse in the corner named Luke Castellan, because she'll almost certainly kill you then.
1. Firing the Star Cannons

_"I never saw her have an, um, episode, but Luke told me about the glowing eyes, the strange things she would say. He made me promise never to tell. What caused it – I have no idea. If Luke knew, he never told me." – Thalia Grace, the Last Olympian._

**Author's Note: Okay, so this needs a little explanation. Luke made Thalia swear on the River Styx not to breathe a word about May's visions – about what Luke's future would bring. So since she gave him her oath, she is _literally_ unable to speak of what will happen. Thus we have this scene below…**

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><p>Hoping. Hoping to see a sign from Zeus. <em>Knowing<em> that the little scar on her finger tingled every time she thought about speaking it to Chiron, the way her jaw seemed slightly _too_ heavy when she tried to form the words, the way her lips parted, but made no sound as they attempted to talk.

And now she was kneeling. Kneeling next to Zeus's Fist, her pale hands clasped tightly in a fervent prayer.

Her head was bowed, her tears dripping onto the cold stone and pooling to form a small, clear puddle. Then, after what seemed like eternity, the girl looked up as a ray of golden sunlight shone through the trees and hit her face, making her electric blue eyes sparkle, luminescent from the salt water trickling quietly down her face. An uncomfortable, itching sensation prickled at a spot at the navel of her back, almost like the girl was being…

_Watched._

In a millisecond, the sunshine had faded, leaving the clearing colder than ever. Irises flashed a dangerous dark blue as they scanned the trees quickly for any signs of movement. Thalia swiftly backed up against the rock heap, her jaw set. There were only miniscule flaws in the perfect image: her hands were balled into tight fists at her side, as if to stop them from trembling traitorously, and her teeth were gritted, her breathing shallow – hyperventilation; her frame, however small, was noticeably stiff and –

A hesitant hand touched her shoulders, and Thalia tensed up immediately, the muscles in her arms clenching as she snatched up her spear, whirled around, and faced the very bane of her existence.

"_Don't touch me_," she hissed, sparks flying from her sharp sapphire eyes. She leaped back three paces and was about to run out of the woods when Luke's piercing azure stare met hers sadly.

They shared more than color: their irises had a haunted shadow to each fleck of intense blue, and the circles beneath them could only be acquired with many straight nights of broken sleep, but Thalia's eyes held caution and weariness, while Luke's pupils simply looked drained of emotion and energy.

"Look, I'm sorry," Luke murmured, his voice almost inaudible as he continued to hold the girl's gaze. "I've come to apologize."

Thalia sagged in defeat – she couldn't attack him when he talked to her like _that_ – and dropped her weapon onto the forest floor with a loud _clang_.

"… Just go away."

"Please, Thalia. Just hear me o –"

She tried to run. She really did. But Luke caught her wrists and spun her around.

"_Listen_, Thalia." Luke's voice took on a desperate quality as he leaned towards her and cradled her hands to his chest. "It's Kronos. He's going to take over my body and use it as a _stepping stone_. You've the only one who can save me. Thalia, _please._ I'll give you anything – anything you want – but you've got to come with me."

Her heart **_ S–H–A–T–T–E–R–E–D_**.

She _needed_ to believe him, because she was going to go insane from the fact that her best friend had just betrayed her –

"I want a lot of things," she heard herself say distantly as her cerulean eyes started to burn and prickle. "I want so much. But – but you can't give me any of those."

"Power," Luke breathed, and it sounded like the softest caress on his lips. "That's your fatal flaw, Thalia. You can have so much of that. _Unlimited power_, Thalia… So much, you can destroy all of the gods like swatting flies."

She stood there for a single, tantalizing moment, terror and wanting rooting her body to the spot. She could imagine herself, standing in Olympus's throne room, wearing a beautiful silver _chiton_ and a lovely gold tiara, with the gods screaming for mercy at her feet as she held a staff of bronze and lightning in her hands…

She could taste the pure temptation on her lips. He probably could, too, because suddenly he was kissing her.

His cold touch was what bought her back to Earth.

"That power," she whispered as she twisted silently to look at him straight in the eye. "Is it strong enough to kill all of the Titans?"

Luke's irises glinted, and Thalia felt like the small clearing was suddenly full of sunlight again.

"Yes, Thalia," he murmured lovingly. "When we destroy all of them, it'll be just like the old times. You, me, and Annabeth."

Her

Name

Was-like-a-splash-of-icy-cold-water-on-Thalia's-face.

(Drip, drip.)

She drew back.

"… You haven't told her yet." The previous moment of euphoria disappeared as the girl squashed the memory into the darkest depths of her mind, where it would never resurface until she forcefully dragged it back out again.

Luke hesitated for a second. "No," he answered reluctantly, eyes locking with Thalia's. "But she'd agree when we go to her."

Kisses seemed to be the way Luke lured her into a daze – she felt all dizzy-headed when their lips touched – once again – and the daughter of Zeus allowed herself to warm to his fingers running down her arm, and how he gripped her – firmly, like one would hold a flailing hamster as they deposited the pet back into its rightfully caged home.

(She doesn't know how she's going to get out of this one. Flaws and lust and temptation just don't go well together.)

And finally, after what seemed to be forever, they drew back – Luke's breathing was shallow, and Thalia was gasping for air.

"No," she choked out, and her eyes fluttered close as she pushed away the last feelings of pleasure. "I can't – I can't do this."

"If you change your mind," he whispered tenderly, and trailed his fingers tantalizingly around her back (she resists the urge to do so, but only with extreme efforts), "I'll be right here."

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><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong>

**… Ugh. Sorry about that. That was really crappy and short. =( Please review for constructive criticism. Thanks for reading all the way 'til here, though. I really appreciate your unlimited patience. =)**


	2. Reaching the Limit of the Sky

"Zoë Nightshade. _Sas timo_." The daughter of Zeus took a deep breath and traced an invisible Greek letter in the air, unknown that she was being watched.

"Hunters of Artemis. _Sas timo_." The girl stepped into the moonlight, into the clearing of the forest, and dropped to the ground, her legs folded, haunted blue eyes closed.

"Goddess of the moon," she uttered. "_Sas_ –"

"Hello, Thalia," a cold voice sounded, and the shadows moved.

"Luke," she whispered, her eyes flying open in a flash. At light speed, her bow was in her hand and an arrow was notched, even though she had no idea where her enemy was.

Until Luke stepped out into the moonlight, his blonde hair slightly messy. He wore a gray shirt and long black pants, Thalia noted. He didn't seem to be carrying any weapons either.

"What is your business here?" she asked, all professional and how a Hunter should act. Hopefully, Luke didn't notice that her lower lip was trembling.

"I'm just visiting an old friend," Luke answered, giving her a wide Hermes smile. Casually, he walked towards her and placed his hands on her shoulders. Thalia's eyes widened, and she glared.

"And what, exactly," she demanded, "Do you think you are doing?"

"Drop the Huntress act," Luke rolled his eyes, as though the situation was perfectly normal and they were best friends. "You know you're glad to see me."

Thalia's eyes narrowed as she (skillfully) avoided the question. "All I have to do is scream. Then you'll be up in at Olympus, facing the gods in chains and probably the worst punishment the Furies have for you."

"I know," Luke answered, matter-of-factly. "But you wouldn't do that."

Thalia's shoulders sagged, and her weapons vanished as she dismissed them mentally. "I'm still asking you," she said, but sounding more of a defeatist this time. "Why did you sneak into Artemis' camp?"

"To see you."

Her heart skipped a beat.

"I'm sorry – what were you expecting? Hugs and kisses?" Thalia's voice was icy and distasteful as she spoke.

"No, but I was hoping about something like what you just said," Luke's smile widened into a smirk.

If Thalia's heart kept stuttering like that she would go into cardiac arrest. But she ignored it.

"You know why I joined the Hunt?" Thalia glared at him. "Because – forgive my lack storytelling skills – once upon a time, a long, long time ago, there was a boy who betrayed a girl. And then he poisoned her, and –"

"And resurrected her," Luke added, cutting in quickly. "Yes, that story's vaguely familiar. Did you tell me that when we were on the run or something? Because I don't really remember that story, you know?"

He was so sincere that Thalia almost believed him – if that hadn't been the summation of her worthless life.

"Let me continue the story," she said smoothly, straightening up. "After she was poisoned, her _real_ friends resurrected her. And then, she decided that the boy was a fucking bastard and tried to kill him on a mountain. She failed, but she still thought the boy was a fucking bastard, so she joined the Hunt."

"Hmm. You never did tell me part two," Luke commented thoughtfully. "Is there a prequel?"

"Yes, there is, in fact," Thalia glared daggers at him. "A former Huntress who died had once told the girl who had been betrayed that the boy would let her down one day. And it turns out that she was correct, no matter how much the boy told her he wouldn't. Quite a sad story, isn't it?"

"Yes," Luke drawled. "But think about it, Thalia. If the gods didn't turn you into a pine tree, I wouldn't have gone over to the bad side. I did it for you. I resurrected you –"

"After you poisoned me."

"Yes, that's correct. But I had to do it."

There was a moment of silence as Thalia studied Luke passively.

"I'm letting you go," she said finally, turning away. "You have ten seconds before I change my mind and kill you."

Luke smiled, almost painfully. "Then do it."

Thalia raised her eyebrows. "Where's the catch?"

"There is no catch."

Thalia took out her spear and pointed it at Luke's throat. "You know, I actually could kill you right now," she whispered, her tone changing from expert Huntress to dark and tormented. "How are you not scared?"

"You can't kill me. I'm your best friend," he said, pulling the spear gently from her hold, smirk fading. It slipped through her slender fingers, and Luke placed it down on the ground. "See?"

Thalia closed her eyes, the moonlight reflecting off her raven black hair. "Go away," she ordered, with a princess-like authority in her tone. "This is Huntress territory. Why are you here anyway?"

Luke gave her a small, sad smile. "I just had to see you once last time," he whispered softly, and when Thalia opened her eyes much later, he was gone.


	3. And We Pick Up the Shattered Pieces

He knew. _All along_.

Thalia's hands clenched and unclenched. She couldn't think of his name… for now. The wound was too fresh, too gripping, too devastating.

Thalia remembered the last time they were alone after she'd became a huntress; the only time they were alone after he'd turned evil. His eyes – the last thing she thought about before she went to sleep – dark and agonized underneath that malicious mask of sarcasm and self-destruction – they reminded Thalia of her own in the mirror rather than the horrifying golden eyes when Kronos possessed him. _And so the ascent was dark_, she thought painfully, _and the descent is bright, blinding bright. But never repelling, though; it pulls you closer, spiraling, every day. Then you just fall, into the fields or the pits or the islands. Or maybe you just land in the sea, and swim, swim further and further into the deep, merciless ocean. And maybe after a thousand years, you forget. You always forget. That's one of the many flaws of human nature. It's soothing. It's regrettable, yes, but soothing as you drown in your own pain, lost in the darkness of black and red, screaming, maybe high-pitched screams of utter terror, or maybe a long, soundless scream, with your pupils dilated as you are blinded into bliss about the unending cruelty of our human world._

Pure temptation doesn't get more tormenting that that.

Thalia wanted to forget, but desire balanced it out. _Well, _he_ will forget_, the girl thought tiredly. _Rebirth is ugliness disguised as beautiful gifts of cleansing. Harm disguised as help. No lessons learned_.

The Fates weren't cruel; Thalia realized this the first second she was resurrected from the pine tree. They were morbid and sadistic… no true words could describe the horrifying dilemma she was in.

_I don't want to forget_, Thalia decided. _But I want to be painless. I wish I could turn time backwards and change everything. If I was never turned into a tree, then this would never have happened_.

Now the girl realized; she was probably the rebirth of the Helen of Troy. She created a war with her looks, and Thalia created a war with her death and resurrection. Both daughters of Zeus seemed like they had no do in it, but truly they were the spark of the destroying fire. In the end, Helen and Thalia had to live with the pain that thousands had died in the war they started. Both had men in their lives – Helen had Paris, Castor and Pollux – Thalia had Luke, Percy and Nico. Paris and Luke had died, so none of the girls had a happy ending.

They were the fodder of the Fates. Fodder never had happy endings.

Why couldn't she have been the rebirth of some human mortal? Thalia leaned against the wall, dropping her crutches with a heavy, defeated sigh.

"Thalia? We have to go," Phoebe called from outside.

"I'm coming," Thalia answered back, closing her eyes so as not to see Luke's burning pyre as she scooted towards the exit. "Just give me a moment."

She paused, her irises only opening as she walked to the pyre and kicked the ashes.


	4. To Find Out There's Less Than Nothing

"You sure she's going to be okay?" Rae studied the girl, lying on the bed with sweat pouring from her face. "Because she's been screaming like this for more than three hours."

"Yes, she would be fine," Phoebe snapped, but she was still concerned for the lieutenant of the Hunt. "She's just having a nightmare."

As though on a cue, the daughter of Zeus let out another strangled scream, writhing on the bed as if somebody had touched her arm with burning hot embers.

"Please, _please_-" her spoken words were cut off by another choked cry. "_No_! Please, don't-"

Thalia Grace shot up from her bed, her eyes wild and scared. "Oh my gods, what- what-"

"Just a dream," Phoebe tried to assured her in what she thought was a soothing tone, patting Thalia's arm gently. "Just a dream."

The girl concentrated on breathing for a few desperate seconds.

"I… I need a moment," she finally said. "Rae and Phoebe, could you leave me alone please?"

"Of course." Phoebe gestured for the healer to head out first.

After the two huntresses left, Thalia curled up on the fluffy white mattress. Tears streamed down her face.

It had been one week since _his_ death.

Thalia was forbidden to mention _his_ name, or even think about it. But _he_ visited her in her dreams and tormented the girl daily with _his_ betrayal.

So that was how she was going to spend eternality. Screaming.

Thalia sighed and splashed her face with water from the bronze basin beside her bed. "Get a grip," she told herself miserably. "He's gone. He can't do anything to you. _Anything_," she added for extra comfort.

_If Annabeth was here then she'd think me crazy, _Thalia thought miserably. _Not that little seven year old I know anymore…_

The girl shivered, like she'd just swallowed cold wind and it was dancing down her vertebrae.

Thalia rubbed her eyes. _But now Annabeth has somebody else, _she thought. _Perseus Jackson. Gods, Annabeth's dating my cousin… that's gross_.

Childish thoughts that she could not stop. Thalia felt like she was going blank, shutting down, and all she could do was wonder about simple things like different types of clouds or perhaps why a sail boat had so many knots.

The girl exhaled, then took out an arrow from her quiver. Toying with the idea of suddenly snapping it into two, she caressed the sharp point, liking the way the edge grazed her slender fingers.

_Oh, _great_, now I'm playing with dangerous objects, _Thalia thought dazedly. _If I cut myself with this I'm going to throw a pity party. Paper hats are optional; sharp things necessary_.

She dropped the arrow back into the quiver, sighed again, and sank back onto her mattress.

She suddenly felt like punching something; Thalia hated everything around her, the way her shirt clung to her waist, the silver rug lying plainly on the ground, how everything was stupid or maybe even that damned Rae girl with the weird powers.

"_Thalia._ You're really tired," she spoke out loud to herself. "Go back to sleep."

Vaguely, she wondered if she was really going crazy as she crawled pitifully back onto her mattress.


End file.
